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Thursday, February 28, 2008


Grey Grows My Beard

With the presidential primary racing toward its most crucial point and Turkey's invasion of northern Iraq threatening to further destabilize the region and the American economy tanking, there's really only one thing of importance in my mind:

Why the fuck do the white hairs in my beard grow at such a rapid rate in comparison to the youthful-looking hairs?

Seriously, I'll trim my beard and, two goddamn days later, I've got two dozen inch-long Granddad Specials sprouting from my chin.

Now, I'm not all that freaked out by the aging process. (Somewhat, but not extremely.) You're not going to find me running to the drugstore for a package of Just for Men. Frankly, I find beard hair that's too uniform in color to be a little creepy.

But neither am I anxious to sport a Sean Connery-esque face rug. *sigh* I guess I'm going to have to start tweezing.

I think the salt & pepper look is handsome. Fly your colors proudly!
You could always shave, grandpa.
I'll trade you your grey for my baldness.
My husband's two-toned beard is one of his sexiest features (and I bet your wife thinks the same.)
...about your beard, not my husband's.
Steph--It's not really "salt & pepper" yet. It's more "pepper with a few big-ass grains of salt tossed in there."

JB--No, I can't. I have no goddamn chin and my wife won't sleep with me without the beard. I've tried.


Freida--Actually, my wife thinks your husband's two-toned beard in incredibly sexy.
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