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Tuesday, April 01, 2008


Beard Maintenance

A life-lesson I taught myself this weekend:

Beards need to be trimmed. This is important both to maintain a whisker-length that won't get caught in a paper-shredder and also to prevent one's wife from leaving one, so that one is forced to cook dinner for one.

However, it's important to remember that, when you've trimmed your beard, not all of the little bits of hair will go into the sink or onto the newspaper or out the window, where you want them to. Some will cling to their brethren and hang around your chin for as long as they can.

Then they will fall into your cereal bowl and float disgustingly in the milk, rendering your Count Chocula utterly inedible.

I guess I'm saying it's a good idea to eat breakfast before beard-trimming.

Or shower after.
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