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Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Existential Food Crisis

There are some things in this life that we know for certain. Not much, but some. And about half of those certainties revolve around what we do and do not like to eat. This can, I realize, change over time; certain foods rising or falling in our esteem as our palates mature and evolve.

I would say, though, that the great majority of us reach a certain point in life where our likes and dislikes solidify, like Jell-o around canned pineapple.

All of my adult life, there have been some truths I hold to be self-evident. Among these are hatred of Dijon mustard, dislike of relish and the pursuit of desserts. Now, in my golden years, I--

Okay, wait, "golden years" are retirement-age, right? Am I in my "salad days"? Or is this the "summer of my life"? Man, this stuff is confusing.

Anyway, now that I'm grown up and shit, I'm finding some of these firmly-held beliefs called into question.

The first two beliefs may still be solid, but I'm having doubts. See, I was reading through an issue of Cooks' Illustrated and two articles caught my attention. One was a taste-test of Dijon mustards. They compared several French brands to their American counterparts. Happily, the American mustards did every bit as well as the French. (Suck on that one, froggies!)

Now, this article shouldn't move me one way or another, as I've always preferred honey mustard. But I actually found myself wanting to try these brands. Wanting to spread a little Grey Poupon on my next sandwich. Maybe even eating that sandwich in my limousine.

The relish thing stems from another article in the same magazine. They tested for the best recipe for American-style potato salad. I love potato salad. My grandma Gossiaux made a version that, while simple and unassuming, fully captured the spirit of summer and everything good in the world. I've never had her recipe, so I've never tried making the stuff.

This article, though, as all Cook's Illustrated articles do, tries dozens and dozens of variations until the single, undeniably greatest recipe floats to the surface. The best possible recipe for potato salad? Of course I want to try it. I mean, I'm not a fool!

But their winner has relish in it. Relish! Chewed-up pickles floating in vinegar and evil! Green chunky vomit! But, if I don't include the relish, it's not the greatest recipe, is it? No sir. No, it's not.

The final earthquake in my food beliefs is a little simpler and a little sadder. I love dessert. To me, the single greatest thing about adulthood is that you have the power and ability to make/eat dessert whenever you want and there's no parent to smack it out of your hand. Which would explain why I've reached the weight I've reached.

So I'm now forced to try and shake this habit of mine of eating dessert after every meal except breakfast. I'm going to have to train my mouth that it doesn't need a sugary reward for chewing up all my vegetables. And it's going to hurt.

I look at these heretofore rock-solid food principles and I ask myself: just who the hell am I? (In terms of food. On non-edible identity issues, I'm pretty sound.)

posted by Joe # 4:48 PM

Comments:

It's very rare to change your opinion of food. Ok, it's very rare of ME to change my opinion of food.

See, it's always about me. But good luck with the dessert thing. You damn quitter.

# posted by

Cindy-Lou : 5:51 PM

Cooks Illustrated is a pretty neat magazine. Yes, I said "neat."

I discovered two years ago that I really can't stand shrimp.

# posted by

blackbird : 9:42 PM

Ok, I am not a sweet pickle liker (not really even those books), and neither am I am advocator of the relish, but I make a mean potato salad, and I am sorry. It has relish.

I cook the potatoes just so (and leave on the peels. Red potatoes are better, i think)

When I rinse them (so they don't stay too starchy, I scrape a little peel off, but not much (I draw the line on peeling potatoes).

I add mayo (which is terribly unpc- Nayonaise is yummy), a squirt of mustard (key) and a tad of olive oil and relish, salt, and ample paprika, cumin, and the best, dill. It's not so bad. In fact, it's a hit at potlucks.

# posted by

Freida Bee : 12:22 AM

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Existential Food Crisis

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		Tuesday, May 06, 2008 Existential Food Crisis There are some things in this life that we know for certain. Not much, but some. And about half of those certainties revolve around what we do and do not like to eat. This can, I realize, change over time; certain foods rising or falling in our esteem as our palates mature and evolve. I would say, though, that the great majority of us reach a certain point in life where our likes and dislikes solidify, like Jell-o around canned pineapple. All of my adult life, there have been some truths I hold to be self-evident. Among these are hatred of Dijon mustard, dislike of relish and the pursuit of desserts. Now, in my golden years, I-- Okay, wait, "golden years" are retirement-age, right? Am I in my "salad days"? Or is this the "summer of my life"? Man, this stuff is confusing. Anyway, now that I'm grown up and shit, I'm finding some of these firmly-held beliefs called into question. The first two beliefs may still be solid, but I'm having doubts. See, I was reading through an issue of Cooks' Illustrated and two articles caught my attention. One was a taste-test of Dijon mustards. They compared several French brands to their American counterparts. Happily, the American mustards did every bit as well as the French. (Suck on that one, froggies!) Now, this article shouldn't move me one way or another, as I've always preferred honey mustard. But I actually found myself wanting to try these brands. Wanting to spread a little Grey Poupon on my next sandwich. Maybe even eating that sandwich in my limousine. The relish thing stems from another article in the same magazine. They tested for the best recipe for American-style potato salad. I love potato salad. My grandma Gossiaux made a version that, while simple and unassuming, fully captured the spirit of summer and everything good in the world. I've never had her recipe, so I've never tried making the stuff. This article, though, as all Cook's Illustrated articles do, tries dozens and dozens of variations until the single, undeniably greatest recipe floats to the surface. The best possible recipe for potato salad? Of course I want to try it. I mean, I'm not a fool! But their winner has relish in it. Relish! Chewed-up pickles floating in vinegar and evil! Green chunky vomit! But, if I don't include the relish, it's not the greatest recipe, is it? No sir. No, it's not. The final earthquake in my food beliefs is a little simpler and a little sadder. I love dessert. To me, the single greatest thing about adulthood is that you have the power and ability to make/eat dessert whenever you want and there's no parent to smack it out of your hand. Which would explain why I've reached the weight I've reached. So I'm now forced to try and shake this habit of mine of eating dessert after every meal except breakfast. I'm going to have to train my mouth that it doesn't need a sugary reward for chewing up all my vegetables. And it's going to hurt. I look at these heretofore rock-solid food principles and I ask myself: just who the hell am I? (In terms of food. On non-edible identity issues, I'm pretty sound.) posted by Joe # 4:48 PM Comments: It's very rare to change your opinion of food. Ok, it's very rare of ME to change my opinion of food. See, it's always about me. But good luck with the dessert thing. You damn quitter. # posted by Cindy-Lou : 5:51 PM Cooks Illustrated is a pretty neat magazine. Yes, I said "neat." I discovered two years ago that I really can't stand shrimp. # posted by blackbird : 9:42 PM Ok, I am not a sweet pickle liker (not really even those books), and neither am I am advocator of the relish, but I make a mean potato salad, and I am sorry. It has relish. I cook the potatoes just so (and leave on the peels. Red potatoes are better, i think) When I rinse them (so they don't stay too starchy, I scrape a little peel off, but not much (I draw the line on peeling potatoes). I add mayo (which is terribly unpc- Nayonaise is yummy), a squirt of mustard (key) and a tad of olive oil and relish, salt, and ample paprika, cumin, and the best, dill. It's not so bad. In fact, it's a hit at potlucks. # posted by Freida Bee : 12:22 AM Post a Comment << Home		Links The Conversation Special Productions Izzle Pfaff Freida Bee Sometimes I Just Talk Alisa and the Stuff Alisa Does Tuna Girl Defective Yeti The Incurable Insomniac The Savvy, The Extreme and The Idealist Caballito del Diablo The Ambivalence of Open Spaces Bug-Eyed Blog Whiskeymarie Version 53 Things I've Noticed (S)wine: ShortLeanCuts Out of Tune Missives from the Beige Sister of Hairshirt Apostrophe Abuse Jonestown Tobacco Brunette The Public Intellectual That's Why Archives July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 March 2011 April 2011