Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Monday, May 19, 2008


Too Relaxed to Write

"Joe!" you might say. "Why haven't you been vomiting forth inanities onto this site for the past week?" To which I'd reply, "Shut up your fucking whining, you miserable wretch!" Then, we'd sit down for nachos.

Anyway, things have been busy 'round here. My in-laws have been in town since Wednesday, so I've been doing my best to be the mediocre host everyone who knows me has come to expect. Seriously, shouldn't I have enough practice to be the sort of person who has the giant mound of dishes taken care of before my guests arrive? Apparently not.

On the baby front, my wife has felt all kinds of movement lately, which is awesome. For her. 'Cause it's not the kind of movement that the daddy can enjoy. Do I wish I had a womb, so that I, too, could feel the wee bairn's motorizing? Not really. I just like to complain.

One thing I can't complain about is the surprise my wife sprang on me last week. She went ahead and purchased the type of awesomely comfortable chair that we've been coveting for, literally, years. It's ever-so-comfy! In fact, I'm gonna go sit in it right now. I'm gonna sit like I've never sat before.

Cool chair, but that's not really your apartment, is it? lol
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