Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Thursday, June 19, 2008


School's [Still Not] Out for Summer

Pop quiz!

The most utterly pointless thing in the world is:
A) The Pope's testicles
B) The EPA under Bush
C) The Hills
D) The last two weeks of the school year

If you chose D, give yourself a cookie!

Sweet cargo-shorts-wearing Jesus, this is the worst time of the school year. Not so much because of the student behavior (which gets somewhat more rambunctious as they start to smell the freedom headed their way). No, these two weeks suck such massive amounts of canal water because fucking nothing gets done.

Well, wait, that's not entirely true. Field trips get done. I've had classes that were out three out of the last four days. And "moving up" ceremonies get done. 'Cause it's important to celebrate the milestone of finishing fifth grade. Let 'em know it means something. And there's also packing up of room libraries and "Senior" Prom and blah blah blah.

But for me, the end of the school year mostly means a lot of sitting on my ass. My grades have been done for awhile now. The faculty knows it. The kids know it. The administration tells us we need to pretend that we're still factoring the work the students are doing into their grade, but the kids are not that dumb.

So getting them to do anything is nearly impossible.

That's when you have a class. Because of the aforementioned field trips and ceremonies and stuff, I've had a very empty schedule this week. Yesterday, I taught zero periods. Nada. Every class was out of the building for one reason or another. I cleaned out my filing cabinet. All day.

The end of the year is coming and that's nice and everything and I suppose it's nice for the kids when they don't have to work so hard and all that. But having no real work to do makes time go slower than Bush's synapses.

Feeling it as a mom too - my guys have a schedule from bizarro world for these two weeks...half days, afternoons only, finals. Kind of silly.
Couple of years ago I would've answered: "E) Gnarls Barkley's cover of the Violent Femmes' 'Gone Daddy Gone'."

Now, I can with all honesty say that the answer is: "E) The Violent Femme's cover of Gnarls Barkley's 'Crazy'."
When I was a middle-school counselor, my office was filled with unruly students. We'd get a lot of jenga played during that time.
I miss those little monsters.
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