Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Thursday, July 10, 2008


Mind Fuck

We’ve established that I’m stupid, right? Good.

It’s a fairly common phenomena, I think, when your routine is disturbed, to feel a little disoriented and, say, confuse yourself as to whether it’s Wednesday or Thursday. Sometimes, you can spend hours convinced--convinced!--that it’s a day other than what it really is.

So I did that with summer school. I don’t know how. I don’t know why. But I was somehow shortening the month of August in my head for weeks.

I’ve spent at least the last week thinking that, after today, I’ve got two weeks of summer school left and then a few days of testing for students that have to take the tests. The testing, you see, is August 4th, 5th and 6th. Again, don’t ask me how I got this so confused in my head.

So this morning, I’m talking with the two Teaching Fellows working with me this summer and I made some reference to the amount of time we’ve got left and the one guy says, “Umm…don’t we have three weeks to go?”

I was like, “What? Look, I don’t have time to deal with your stupidity. There’s two weeks left in July, now shut up and shine my shoes.” Then he pulled out a calendar and proved it. The little jerk.

What this means is that I’ve got a whole week longer than I was thinking. So this is not only like the thing where you confuse the day, it’s also like the thing where you wake up and think you’ve got another two hours to sleep, only to look at the clock and realize you’ve actually got to get up in two minutes. I feel robbed, I feel violated.

Maybe I’ll just call in that last week.

I hate when people fuck up my thought process with facts.

Sorry about the longer term you have to do .
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