Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Tuesday, July 08, 2008


You, Me & Dupree, Writ Large

So hang on...

The American people don't want to be in Iraq. The Iraqi people don't want us there, either. Bush & Friends have been saying that we're there because the Iraqi government needs our help to become stable, but now the Iraqi government is saying they would rather we told them when we're leaving.

People, if our hosts want us to tell them when we're leaving, shouldn't we tell them when we're leaving? If we don't, then we risk becoming the international version of that friend who you agree to let stay on your couch for a few days but who is somehow still there three months later. Then you and your spouse get into fights about who's idea it was to let him stay in the first place and more fights about who needs to set him straight about how much longer his presence will be tolerated.

Nobody wants to be that annoying guest. So what say we give the Iraqis what they want and come up with a plan to get our own apartment sooner rather than later. Seriously, it's just a matter of time before Nouri al-Maliki starts leaving passive-aggressive notes on the coffee table.

Do we, as a nation, truly want to become a lame take-off of an awful Owen Wilson comedy? God, I hope not.