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Sunday, August 10, 2008


Here There Be Diapers

There are, when you're an expectant couple, hundreds and hundreds of decisions you have to make. It's kind of part of the fun of the whole thing. You winnow down a list of potential names. You pick out a set of bedding for the crib and put it on your baby registry. You decide whether or not your wife is going to be receiving a whole lot of drugs to help dull the pain that you don't have to experience during delivery. (Sorry about that, honey.)

Many of these decisions, which you make at various points along the 40-week journey, you may research and rethink and reevaluate. Strollers, for instance. My wife and I went to a baby box store a month or so back and tested out some strollers and we've been doing an informal survey ever since, checking out every single stroller we see and deciding how satisfied the various people we see wheeling them around look with their purchase. I used to gawk at short skirts, now I'm staring at Bugaboos and McClarens. Ye gods.

Anyway, part of what's cool about these decisions you're making is that they don't actually have any kind of impact on your, y'know, life. These are decisions you're making for down the road. I can say, "Yes, my son will be circumcised!" and it's pretty goddamn easy to say right now because I'm not there watching some dude go after my kid's johnson with a scalpel.

But one of those decisions we made over the last 31 weeks or so became concrete today and it freaks me out just a little.

We did a study of sorts of our diapering options. Neither of us like the thought of our kid's shit sitting in a landfill and his great-grandson being able to pay said poo a visit a hundred and ten years from now. On the other hand, cloth diapers in a New York apartment sans a washing machine just sounds like a recipe for nausea.

So, in the end, we decided we'd try gDiapers. They're an environmentally friendly product that combines a washable "pant"--that's their term; I couldn't come up with anything great to clarify--and a flushable/disposable/compostable insert that actually catches the poo. Let me say right here and now that we won't be composting them. (Again, New York apartment + noses = no mountain of feces.)

These things fit with our world-view, they seem reasonably priced and they catch poo.

We congratulated ourselves on our decision and then got a full, uninterrupted night's sleep. So wonderful when these decisions are about things way, way down the road.

Then, today, we were picking up a $35 head of lettuce in Whole Foods when my wife noticed that they sell gDiapers. So we got some. Let me say that again, in a slightly more panicky way: The diapers that are going to stop my son from peeing directly on me are now in our home!

Holy bubble-blowing Jesus, this kid's coming! I'm going to be responsible for another human being! I can't even remember to water my plants! Fu-u-u-u-u-uck!

No, seriously, it's cool. It's just weird having diapers in the house.

Awww- Very nice. I was fortunate to have my mother purchase a diaper service for me for the first couple monthswith my oldest and I managed to keep it going after that and then by some weird fortuitousness, the service allowed me to buy oodles of 'gently worn" diapers for $.25 each when I was discussing moving outside of their service area later. Yes, I had to wash and wash them, and I admit that more than one particularly nasty one was secretly discarded. I had some diaper covers with velcro to give me a break from pins after the dawning of the new millennium. At least they are cheaper than lettuce these days.

Ah. After doing about eight years of diapering, it's amazing how rarely I am able to work such topics into conversation these days. How very exciting for you.
May I suggest you stock up on a whole bunch of good nights' sleep.
I do the same thing with strollers now and hate myself a little more each time.
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