Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Saturday, September 20, 2008


Don't Get Around Much Anymore

The baby's still in my wife, folks. I hope both of my readers weren't thinking that Joe, Jr. popped out prematurely, my exhaustion keeping me from sitting down to whip up frothy little commentaries on the world as we know it. This is not the case. No, my silence here is mostly an unexpected by-product of moving our desk--and the computer perched atop it--to the living room.

In days of yore, when my wife was unwinding on the couch, I could sneak off to the bedroom and spend some quality time with you, my internet friends. Now, with the our bedroom converted into a Quiet Zone, I'm forced to stay out here and interact with my wife. Bizarre!

So I'm currently ignoring her to take a moment or three and bring the universe up to date on our happenings. We've recently been to a breast-feeding class, which featured an instructional movie from Australia. Because, apparently, stateside videos are just not mammar-ific enough. Naturally, I leaned over to my wife a couple of minutes into the thing and whispered, "A dingo ate my breast milk!" Crickets. I heard crickets. Not a Meryl Streep fan, apparently.

Then my wife had a non-stress test. What an interesting concept. You'd think it would be the total opposite of the stress test, maybe involving a simulated beach and some daiquiris. Not the case. Everything went well, though. The nurse used two "really"s before she said good. So that's nice.

And we had another sonogram, which was a bit of a letdown, because you can't take awesome pictures when everything's so cramped in there. We did get a decent shot of the kid with his hand near his nose, probably already hoping, prenatally, that he can avoid having my nose-bump when he grows up.

All of this has seriously been eating into my ass-sitting-on time, which has left me cranky and irritable. Not that different from my usual state, I suppose.

I keep checking in to see if Joe, Jr. has arrived yet.

And to see if you're picking on Sarah Palin. I like when you do that.
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