Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Thursday, October 23, 2008


Lesson Learned

Another important milestone in the life of a father.

Today, I made my first panicky, moronic call to the pediatrician. Happens in the life of every first-time parent, I'm sure, but it doesn't make me feel any less like a dipshit.

Quite simply, it occurred to me today that, while I've changed a whole mess of poopy diapers, I'd only changed one which you could call urine-soaked. Also, I've only ever been hit by one stream of pee during a changing.

So I went to the books. And the books say that there might be a delay before your child starts peeing, that delay should not be terribly long and, if your kid hasn't started peeing by the fourth day (we're on Day 5) you should call your doctor immediately.

So I did. After which my mother-in-law pointed out that disposable diapers are incredibly absorbent these days that it might be hard to tell if there's pee in there. This was confirmed by my very patient doctor, who told me that it's a lot better to check the weight of the diaper, as urine-less diapers tend to be very light.

So, bottom line: pee-filled diapers are heavy and I'm an idiot. Good to know.

Give yourself another couple of weeks. You'll be doing the combination thump/sniff test to see if it's time to change the little man.

You can usual give the diaper a little tap and tell if it's been peed in. It will feel more solid.

I'll assume you get the sniff test.
I'm loving this.

You are doing beautifully. Think of it this way: many of us have this kind of fallout on DAY ONE.
You may have noticed that attention to pee and poop has pretty much taken over your life. It becomes particularly disturbing when you notice that you and your spouse start seriously discussing pee and/or poop at venues like the dinner table as if it were a normal, non-digusting thing, like politics. Wait...
Lmao. Um, you do have your sister's cell number, you know! You can call me and ask me this stuff. Feeling pretty useless clear over in Ohio.

Love you guys.
Oh, how I love to hear these stories, as too few admit to them. At my older sister's home with my 3 week old, I'm proudly talking about how I'm a much calmer, less panicky parent than I thought I'd be, and she raises an eyebrow and murmurs, "Well, you've been here less than 24 hours and you've called Poison Control twice..." (justified calls, both! one involved possible sniffing of the air around an ant trap package that for some really dumb reason was just there on her table where I was sitting, holding the don't know what residue...anyway, won't go in to the other call).
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