Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Monday, November 24, 2008


You Got Some Splainin' to Do

This morning at a little after four, my life turned briefly into an I Love Lucy scene.

I woke up to hear my son fussing in the co-sleeper. Figuring that I was being all gallant and giving my wife some extra sleep, I scooped him up before it turned into full-blown crying. I bounced and shushed him for a minute or so and, when that was utterly ineffective, I took him to the changing table.

The diaper beneath his pajamas had a small squirt of poop in it, but not enough to really make him uncomfortable. Not one to leave even a little bit of poop--I'm so responsible--I took the quasi-soiled diaper off and gave Spencer's bottom a quick going-over with the wipe.

As I did this, he crapped again. I wiped it off of the changing pad and folded the pad over to keep the poop off my child. Who pooped again. I cleaned that off. Then there was some slightly-wet farting. As fast as the stuff came out, I endeavored to wipe it off my son's ass. Finally, the butt eruptions ceased and I felt safe enough to move the new diaper into place.

At which point he let fly one more squirt. Scratch one clean diaper.

He's sleeping now. All that pooping must be exhausting.

Oh for the days. I remember having to bathe them when the poop smooshed all the way up their backs.
Lmao...can't keep up with the chocolate on the conveyor belt, little brother? Just wait...more fun to be had.

It really is fun though, isn't it?
I had a similar scenario only I didn't get the diaper on fast enough. It was a "powered by gas" one and it flew across the room and hit the adjacent wall.

Kid : 1. Mom : 0.

Hang in there. It's gets more interesting as the months pass.
One time we were on a camping vacation with our littlest one, and we actually had to go into town to buy her some new clothes because there were so many poop incidents like the one you described that she went through a week's wardrobe in about a day and a half. It just gets everywhere sometimes.
When you think of the story about being about feces, and then look at the picture again, Lucy's brown coating becomes far less appetizing.
Ricky's licking becomes downright unsanitary.
so, that story, with the image?
I'll stand by the picture, yes.
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