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Saturday, December 20, 2008


More Than Meets the I Can't Watch This Shit

Lonely men are sometimes driven to desperate measures.

There's bupkis going on in the Wack/Joplin (minus Joplin) household. Truly nothing doing. We've got cable, I've got time on my hands. And sometimes a lack of activity plus HBO equals me doing something I'll regret real soon. Like watching Transformers.

Look, I knew going in that it was a Michael Bay movie. I know what that means. But Jesus! What a pile of racoon shit. I'm only ten minutes in and it already makes Armageddon look like goddamn Citizen Kane.

Soldiers armed with big guns and the hoariest cliches from every WWII movie ever made. Jokes that suck the life from your very ears. And then John Voight shows up, so you just know it's going quickly down hill.

I'm scared, people. Truly scared. If I don't post anything after this, you'll know that the shittiest movie of the last decade took my life.

UDPATE: Made it through the first car chase, then couldn't take it anymore. Watched Notting Hill instead. That's right: an old, shitty Julia Roberts movie was more appealing than Transformers. Thanks, Michael Bay!

Hey, don't fuck with Nothing Hill...I, too, found the quasi-innocent Hugh way more appealing than anything else on TV this weekend! Plus, there is something so cool about a story line where "normal dork" ands up with "awesome famous person"...ya think Hugh Jackman was watching this movie and thinking..."you know, the thing missing in my life is Meg Wack...I really think I could love her..."? Yeah, I think he'd be lucky to have me, too!
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