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Tuesday, December 02, 2008


Over the River, Part 1

Boy, those gals on The Facts of Life sure knew what they were talking about, didn't they? You take the good, you take the bad.

We took Das Spencinator to my parents' house for Thanksgiving. The trip has, in the years my wife and I have been doing it, invariably taken about eight hours. No matter what alterations we've tried, no matter when we've left, no matter whether or not we listened to our dogs' plaintive cries to for the love of all that's holy pull over and let them pee, we ended up taking about eight hours to get from here to there.

When we've had to leave after work, we've generally stopped about halfway across Pennsylvania--beautiful, beautiful Pennsylvania--and taken a hotel for the night to spare us the hassle of crashing through a guardrail and flying off a cliff in the Poconos. This time, I had to pick up a rental car Wednesday afternoon--baby + dogs + pies=no fucking way we were fitting in our '92 Civic--so a hotel was definitely in the offing. I made a reservation at our usual stop, the Ramada (nee Holiday Inn) in gorgeous Milesburg, PA.

Getting the car was pretty easy, other than the half-hour holiday eve trip down six blocks of 125th Street. Leaving, however, was a bear. They all tell you you'll have to take a whole lot of shit everywhere when you have kids, but my tiny imagination apparently always low-balled it. 'Cause it took me forever to cram all this shit in the car. Then, when wife, child, dogs and I were just about to pull out, the kid suddenly needed to eat. And so we sat. 'Cause society tends to frown on people who breastfeed babies while tooling down the highway. Cowards.

So, while we only did the first five hours of the drive and not the whole eight, leaving at 8 PM meant that we were utterly goddamn exhausted by the time we limped into Milesburg. On the way, I resorted to drinking my old, beloved friend Diet Mountain Dew, which helped. At my wife's suggestion, I also listened to something to keep my brain active, specifically the Sunday Puzzler from NPR's Weekend Edition. Since we didn't veer into oncoming traffic, I deemed the caffeine-Will Shortz combo a winner.

I got us checked in to the glamorous Milesburg Ramada and promptly passed out.

Tomorrow: Food! Family! Fomit!

that is a pretty boychik you have there! And good to see a kid in green - no blue or pink
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