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Thursday, January 22, 2009


Deep, Self-Pitying Sigh

My wife won't listen to my whining about this, so I'm turning to you, the wonderful people who glance briefly at this page on which you landed after hitting the "Next Blog" button or googling "nurse+spanking+fantasties".

See, I'm about to go on paternity leave. I'm about to spend a few months doing nothing but taking care of my kid. It's exciting. For me.

For my wife, it's going back to work time. So any complaining I do this week about my job is most unwelcome to her ears.

Mostly, what I've been doing this week has been trying to wrap up the unit I was working on while dealing with a schedule fucked-up by the state English test. I've been trying to get my grades calculated and just generally prepare things for my absence.

Tomorrow, as a reward for the hard work they did on the Big Test this week, all of the seventh- and eighth-graders get to go on a field trip. Which excited the hell out of me, because I teach only seventh and eighth grade, which would have left me the entire day to enter my grades on the website we're using and get everything nice and squared away.

This morning, however, three--count 'em, three--people, including my assistant principal asked me if I'd be willing to go on the field trip, as they were having trouble rounding up chaperones. Coming from my A.P., it wasn't really a request, it was more along the lines of, "We're not going to pay you to spend a day in your office with no classes to teach, so you're going on the field trip." (He actually did put it in the form of a question and was very polite about it, but come on.)

I don't like field trips. You're with the kids all day with no break, you have to make sure they don't mock drunk homeless people on the subway, you have to keep them from getting run over and you invariably have to eat at fucking McDonald's. *shudder*

All in all, it wouldn't be so terribly bad, except for the fact that the field trip, I've been informed, is to the see...Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Inkheart opens tomorrow. It's a fun, family-friendly adventure movie based on a very nice book I just finished. Couldn't we see that instead? No. I have to go spend an hour and a half watching Kevin James get hit in the groin over and over and over. (See title)

Blart had actually kind of a good little story mixed in there. Not at all only slapstick, and a couple of laugh-out-loud moments (stuff not seen in the trailer, surprisingly). I was nicely surprised. Your kids will laugh a little and you won't be suffering too much--it'll probably be an okay time.
Hey, don't ruin the plot for me, I actually want to see that. lol. Sorry, Joe, it looks funny to me.
Paternity leave? That's very cool! After teaching 7th & 8th grade, the baby care must seem like a piece of cake!

You have nude spanking nurses? How did I miss that?
Yea for paternity leave! Buck up. I watched the Mr. Bean movie the other day, and I wasn't even getting paid.
Oh, and this semester, I'm paying to teach.
I am dying to ask - like why is it ok to send an entire school to a movie for a field trip? where is the educational value? How did they get away with it?
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