People, I've been saying for years that the birds were going to turn against us. Now it's happened. I have proof in my possession that the geese responsible for bringing down the US Airways plane in New York attended an Al Quaeda training camp in Afghanistan in 2001.
When is our government going to start taking this threat seriously? I've sent literally dozens of telegrams to Barack Obama's advisors, begging them to make sure they've got a strategy for dealing with the avian threat around us as soon as they take office. I have yet to hear back from them.
This is just the beginning, my friends. Watch the skies.