Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Friday, February 13, 2009


That's-a One Spicey Meat-a-ball!

A couple of months back, I wrote about a new pizza place that opened up a few blocks from us; how much hope I'd had for it and how those hopes were so very cruelly dashed.

Well, it seems like everyone else in town felt the same way, as the pizza place has quickly been shuttered, replaced by an Italian restaurant, with "Under New Management" signs in neon orange and everything.

Now, given the relative lack of good delivery options around these parts, and the fact that my wife and I have long grown incredibly sick of all our standard options, we're probably going to give this place the benefit of the doubt and order some pasta at some point.

But I am given a moment or two of concern by the fact that the first item on their sandwich list is "Sausage with Broccoli Rape".

My wife and I just had a debate about whether the vegetable in question is the aggressor or the villain in this scenario. I suppose the obvious situation would be that the broccoli is being raped by the sausage, but I don't want to make assumptions. Whatever the situation, it makes me ill. I just feel like sexual assault has no place in the sandwich community.

I keep thinking of all sorts of inappropriate comments that will probably get me in trouble, so I'll just say I like broccoli and leave it at that.
I am trying to imagine what spelling disaster happened to incur that singular menu entry, but it is beyond my feeble grasp of nonreality at this point in the morning. Please provide an update after you've ordered that very item. Just so you are fully aware of your life options, you are not allowed to NOT to order that item. I'll Paypal you for it--whatever it takes. Meanwhile, I am enjoying the afterglow of at least one month of no broccoli consumption whatsoever.


P.S. When it says "3:40 a.m." on the post, that is lame, but it is three hours less lame on the left coast. Admittedly, still sad, but not as pathetic as it seems at first glance.
this shit is straight out of

love it.
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