Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Sunday, March 08, 2009


Did They Fall Asleep?

I went to see Watchmen yesterday. I won't go into what I thought of the movie here--you can hear all about that in the next episode of The Conversation, coming soon--nor will I talk about what it was like to finally see a movie after four months' exile from the multiplex.

What I want to address this morning, briefly is this: I saw this poster, or one very much like it (I think there was also a dude in a cowboy hat in the one I saw) hanging in the lobby of the theater and I have to wonder: what the fuck is going on in this shot? There's Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. I get that. I still insist that he's too fucking tall for the part, but I understand what he's doing at the poster's center.

My confusion comes from the fact that all the other people seem to have their eyes closed and their heads lowered. What the hell is that supposed to be?

Are they, I don't know, praying that this movie won't suck massive balls like X-Men III? Did Jackman rush directly to the photo shoot from his hard-workin' performance at the Oscars without showering and everyone else in the shot is trying to maintain the stability of their stomachs? Did someone lose a contact lens and Hugh is the only person not involved in the search?

I guess the most likely explanation is that some Mighty Marvel Marketer said, "We need something that looks goddamn profound. I got it! You guys in the back, look down! (click) Awesome!"

The trailer for the flick looked good. And god knows I'm a giant, slobbering geek and I'll go see most superhero flicks that don't involve Jessica Alba and/or Ben Affleck. But this poster makes me want to avoid this one like the fucking plague.

Plus Hugh Jackman's too goddamn tall to play Wolverine. Dammit.