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Wednesday, April 20, 2011


Who's the Dick?

My wife and I went for a run yesterday. We ran a route we run frequently, from her office in Long Island City, across the Queensborough Bridge (it's not the "Koch Bridge", goddammit) and over to the park, then across Central Park South. Not a long run, but a nice one.

We usually stop at a little newsstand by the Columbus Circle subway entrance to grab a Gatorade. We did this yesterday. My wife stood with the kid in the jogging stroller while I ran in and got the drinks. I brought them back out, cracked hers and handed it to her, only to find that the top of it was frozen over. Fortunately, we were able to burrow a hole through the tundra and get her straw through.

Mine was a different story. I opened my lid to find it was frozen more or less solid. So I took it back in and showed it to the guy behind the counter. I said, "Hey, this is frozen solid." He said, "Did you open it?" I confirmed that I had, in fact, opened it, which was how I knew it was frozen solid.

And here's where the title of this post comes into play.

The guy says, "Well, it's open. What can I do with that?" The implication here being that he is under no obligation to switch the drink out for a non-frozen one

I replied, "You can give me one that's not frozen."

"You opened that."

"I can't drink this. I bought this because I need something to drink now."

He caved, I grabbed a new, more liquid-y Gatorade and he angrily told me to take both of them. I the dick for insisting that he give me a new drink when I maybe should have noticed it was frozen before opening it? Or is he the dick for not being more accommodating to his customer?

Either way, it sure was nice having a free, cold Gatorade waiting in my refrigerator when I got back from my run just now.

I don't really want to say that that that other guy is a dick, but I am certain (in this scenario described by you) that you are not. Oh, and really, he is.

Glad you're back to blogging 'cause I enjoy your musings.
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