I turned 50 today. Fuck.

I'm not, like, super freaked out about it. A moment here or there, but not really. But it does make one think. 

I mean, I'm not young anymore. Up until yesterday, I could get away with thinking of myself as young. You might not agree with that, but you can shove that opinion up your ass. No. Sorry about that. What I'm saying here is that I, personally, felt I could claim at least marginal youth as long as I was still in my 40s. Now, I'm not.

Now, I very clearly am on the downward slope. I very clearly have more of my road behind me than ahead. I very clearly am tongue-kissing the grim reaper here.

And so I need to dial up the seriousness. 

I need to work harder to make sure I'm not leaving my kids a world so fucked up it makes The Hunger Games look like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farms. I need to make sure that the children in my class are receiving a clear view of the world along with their reading lessons. I need to push my elected officials to make BIG SYSTEMIC CHANGES right fucking now.

I have, I think, been doing this before now. At least I hope I have. But now, I'm feeling more urgency. The clock is ticking. The time I have left to help make sure my sons aren't a couple of limo drivers in The Handmaid's Tale is growing shorter.

This is not about getting Biden in the White House and Schumer elected Majority Leader. It's about getting them in those positions and then holding their fucking feet to the flames and making them take action on climate and justice and election reform. 

I'm going to go to sleep now with too much pizza in my stomach and a pleasant day in my memory and I'm going to wake up tomorrow and push for change.