• Just sleep all the time.
• Hire somebody to dress as Santa year-round, to fool yourself into thinking that the holidays just never end.
• Focus on how great the country's going to be now that George W. has himself a second term and a majority in Congress.
• If you're a man, wear women's panties. If you're a woman, wear no panties. Neither of these will really help the depression, but at least you'll feel naughty.
• Aversion therapy. Every time you think an unhappy thought, hit yourself in the nuts with a ballpeen hammer.
• Get a frontal lobotomy or become born again. Same difference.
• Double up on your meds.
• Buy a puppy and trade it in for a new puppy every week until spring.
• Binge more often than you purge.
• Become rich (or at the very least, take to wearing a monocle and top hat everywhere you go, even to the bathroom).
• Remind yourself every morning that at least you're not in a relationship with Ben Affleck. (Not effective if you're Jennifer Garner.)
• Masturbate one or two extra times per day.
• Give hugs to strangers on the sidewalk. If you spread more love around, the world will be covered in love.
• Get stoned, stay stoned.

Remember, you're only as completely fucking miserable as you let yourself be.