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Thursday, June 23, 2005


Mildly Disgusting

I have been writing too often lately about disgusting things. I realize that. But I really have to add just this one more.

So my wife and I were eating sushi tonight and watching a tape of the rerun of the Tom Cruise on Oprah fiasco--neither of us had seen it. I have to mention here that I'm getting over bronchitis and have coughing and major congestion going on. I'm watching Cruise gush mind-boggling amounts of fake emotion. I'm seeing this nutjob go absolutely spastic in the worst show of faux happiness since Gloria Stuart lost the Best Supporting Actress Oscar to Kim Basinger in '98.

I can't take it. I start half-coughing, half-gagging. I'm coughing out half-eaten pieces of rice. I recover and finish my tamago. Then Oprah asks Tom if he's ever felt an emotion like this before. The gagging and coughing starts again. That subsides, then I start sneezing. I grab a Kleenex and go to the other room so as not to negatively impact my wife's appetite.

I sneeze, then I blow my nose.

I don't know how other people do it, but I tend to check out the Kleenex before I pitch it. I just do. So I look at the Kleenex and I see that I've blown a piece of egg from the tamago out of my nose. And that's mildly disgusting.

I was most disgusted by the word sushi. I just can't figure out why people love something that feels so hideous in one's mouth.
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