HAIRSHIRT 

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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

 

Hairshirt Horoscope

Aries: The world looks mighty good to you, 'cause Tootsie Rolls are all you see. Whatever it is you think you see becomes a Tootsie Roll to you.

Taurus: Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes, you don't.

Gemini: Nobody better lay a finger on your Butterfinger.

Cancer: When you bite into a York Peppermint Patty, you get the sensation of wind rushing through your hair as you rocket off of a ski-jump.

Leo: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

Virgo: Two great tastes taste great together.

Libra: Say goodbye a little longer, make it last a little longer. Give your breath long-lasting freshness with Big Red.

Scorpio: Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.

Sagittarius: It's not a cookie! It's fruit and cake!

Capricorn: How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? Ask Mr. Owl.

Aquarius: Life Savers. A part of living.

Pisces: For the love of God, brush your fucking teeth.

Comments:
Man, I hate to be persnickety, but:

Big Red

also,

Nobody does it like...
 
I'll give you the gum. It was a typo. However, the phrase is "Nobody DOESN'T like Sara Lee." If you've got problems with that, we can take it outside. Bitch.
 
Bike rack, three o'clock, retard.

Someone just backed you up on that, and I just don't get the slogan now. So, care to explain that shit, Mr. Wizard?
 
I think you got Leo's wrong, too. I have a shirt that says "What Would Jesus Do For A Klondike Bar". I think that's the right one.
 
My butterfinger? Whoooooaaaaaa.
 
weekly astrology info is so cheesy but we were looking at it anyway...why i dont know. I guess it is fun to play around online. Anyway, I saw your weekly astrology posts and though it was cool...Alright, well...have a great night, I am back to weekly astrology surfing LOL : )

Jon
 
almond joy's got nuts. mounds don't!
 
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