HAIRSHIRT
Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery
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HAIRSHIRT Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery |
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Wednesday, September 28, 2005Hairshirt Horoscope
Aries: The world looks mighty good to you, 'cause Tootsie Rolls are all you see. Whatever it is you think you see becomes a Tootsie Roll to you.
Taurus: Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes, you don't. Gemini: Nobody better lay a finger on your Butterfinger. Cancer: When you bite into a York Peppermint Patty, you get the sensation of wind rushing through your hair as you rocket off of a ski-jump. Leo: What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Virgo: Two great tastes taste great together. Libra: Say goodbye a little longer, make it last a little longer. Give your breath long-lasting freshness with Big Red. Scorpio: Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Sagittarius: It's not a cookie! It's fruit and cake! Capricorn: How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? Ask Mr. Owl. Aquarius: Life Savers. A part of living. Pisces: For the love of God, brush your fucking teeth.
Comments:
I'll give you the gum. It was a typo. However, the phrase is "Nobody DOESN'T like Sara Lee." If you've got problems with that, we can take it outside. Bitch.
Bike rack, three o'clock, retard.
Someone just backed you up on that, and I just don't get the slogan now. So, care to explain that shit, Mr. Wizard?
I think you got Leo's wrong, too. I have a shirt that says "What Would Jesus Do For A Klondike Bar". I think that's the right one.
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