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Tuesday, September 05, 2006


The Name Game II: Name Harder

Two of our friends, who have a wonderful fifteen-month-old son, are about to have another one. And, as they did last time, they are asking their friends to help them whittle down their choices for the kid's name. This is, of course, a lot smarter than just asking for suggestions, which would likely net them something along the lines of Opie Stinkledinger Schwilke.

While, just like last time, I'm not going to post the names my friends are considering--because, as nice as anyone who reads this blog is, there's still something just not right about getting name suggestions from people you don't know--I would still like to celebrate the whole naming process by asking folks to give me names that my friends should avoid.

Toward that end, I'm asking you to post a comment, giving me what is, in your opinion, the absolute worst first/middle name combo. The above-cited Opie Stinkledinger would be a good example. I don't know if you guys have ever met anyone with the middle name Stinkledinger, but let me tell you from personal experience, it's a major albatross around a kid's neck. Poor little Opie never got over that one.

So, to kick things off, here's my offering for worst first/middle name combo: Osama Adolph.

You name your kid after one mass-murdering psycho, that's one thing. But when you give them two genocidal names in a row, that says something about the kid. And on!

Referring back to the original "Name Game" post: did you think that being named Dick Seaman was worse than being named, as his sister was, Carrie Seaman? Dick's name at least implied potency, whereas Carrie's...well, just implied that she was a vehicle for man juice.

The worst first name-middle name combo in history has got to be "George Walker."
I recently heard about a hair salon called Peter Thomas, and it turned me off immediately. Because Peter is a name for a penis, and isn't John Thomas used for that as well? That's just lame.
Hyman is a bad first name with just about any middle name.
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