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Saturday, February 03, 2007


We're Pretty Much Fucked

Because nobody listens to Al Gore, I'm hoping that the report issued this week by a UN panel will finally freak people out enough that they'll demand that the Douchebag in Chief actually fucking do something about global warming. I mean something beyond the bullshit lip service he paid to the issue in the State of the Union.

What galls me the most is the fact that this assfurter who's had his tongue wedge firmly up the butt of the oil industry since before he was gubner of Texas--and who made pulling out of the Kyoto Protocols one of his first objectives upon taking office--can actually try to claim that he's done positive things for the environment. He does! He tries to convince people that leaving it up to huge corporations to do the right thing on their own in exchange for tax breaks has been a sound policy. He seriously expects the American public to be satisfied with a semi-annual mention of hydrogen-powered cars.

But what has he done? What has Bush actually done to address climate change? Here's the exhaustively researched list:
  • Had his Crawford, TX ranch insulated with shredded documents from his failed businesses instead of fiberglass.
  • Recycled Nixon's cabinet instead of going out and getting an expensive new one.
  • Saves thousand of trees every year by never reading books or newspapers.
  • Only ever used cocaine straws made from renewable resources.
  • Reduced the Army's consumption of environmentally-unfriendly Kevlar and armor.
  • Doesn't waste valuable electricity by sitting up at night, worrying about the various ways he's fucked up our country.
  • Recycled a can once.
Truly a valiant steward of our nation's ecosystems.

Hear, hear!!

There goes Joe, telling it like it is, again.
You left out "Brush Clearing". I mean, in my book he's our best President in the brush clearing department. The environmental impact isn't immediate until you realize that brush is nature's tinderbox. Also, I think Al-Qaeda hides in there sometimes.
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