Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery
Friday, July 04, 2008
It's Independence Day! It's time to get out there and engage in some conspicuous patriotism! Make sure nobody can accuse you of not loving this nation!
I'm going to eat a big piece of apple pie with fire crackers in it! What are you doing?
Same thing I do every year, to celebrate the birth of a nation (yes, that was intentional): Get drunk, make racial slurs and beat up on some weakling, all the while fomenting chants of "USA! USA! USA!"
I'm counting patriotic apparel and keeping score.Post a Comment
Flag shorts = 2 points
Flag hat = 3 points
Flag shirt = 1 point
Flag bikini = 10 points
Flag Speedo = 100 points
I'm up to 18 points.
Oh, and I'll probably drink beer later in honor of America.