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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

 

Warning: Self-Indulgent Wallowing! Do Not Read!

Man, life really just blows sometimes. (Oh! The profundity!)

When you're having fertility issues, it doesn't take a whole lot to throw the thing in your face and send you into big heaping piles of despair. I mean, you walk down the street of a major city and you're going to see happy people pushing newborns. It just happens.

It happens when you've just found out you lost a baby. It happens when you're having trouble figuring out your next step and you're feeling pretty raw about it. And it happens on holidays.

Like Halloween.

I've always kind of liked Halloween. Not for myself; I loathe having to come up with a costume and I have no use for the holiday as it applies to me. But I like seeing little kids in costume. It's great. Who doesn't like seeing small versions of Superman and The Flash walking down the street next to a fairy princess?

Well, it turns out that, this year, I don't. I had some errands to run on the Upper West Side this afternoon and, as I walked from 86th to 96th, I was bombarded by parents with their one-year-olds dressed as chubby little lions and pumpkins and clowns. And I remembered again that, if things hadn't gone wrong, we'd have a tiny one to dress up ourselves right now.

I'm not about to jump off a building or anything. I'm not--I swear--trolling for sympathy. It's just that you can go for days (weeks, even) and feel fine about things and then you're in the wrong mood and you see something and it hits you.

Boy, Christmas is going to be fucking awesome, huh?

Comments:
I'm so sorry. That really, really sucks.
 
I feel for you, dude. We're struggling with fertility issues as well, and are starting up the process of adoption. I feel fine about that, overall, but we did see some kids out last night, and it did pique my already potent natural inclination toward melancholy.

I've little to add in content, even less to offer in comfort. I wish you well.
 
Lyam, thanks for the sentiment. Keep me posted on how the adoption process goes.

ESG, thanks. Where've you been? Nothing new on your blog fer weeks now.
 
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